The beautiful game and the chance

It was a cold Sunday morning, wind blowing across my face as I received the ball at the right back position. A good first touch and the second as I went down the right wing- the day had started bright and I felt confident. I looked up and I had a few options- A short easy pass to a player close by, a slightly tougher pass to the player in the center rushing towards the goal and a tough cross field ball to set up someone at the far post for a header, probably the clearest opportunity to score a goal. Its at this moment, that I had to decide, make a choice- do I gamble at the far post, play it safe to the man closer or take a calculated risk to the man in the center, knowing well of the risk of a counter attack in case its a misplaced pass.

I started playing football as a teenager, naive and making mistakes all the time. Fortunately, I learnt from those mistakes and by the time I entered my twenties, I had become a much better player. I clearly remember the day I played my first competitive tournament final. It was during my post graduation in Mumbai. We were a team of part-timers, a bunch of science dudes, filled with passion and determination to show that we could kick a ball, just like we could make that chemical spark. We were so happy just to be on the field and over a period of time, had beaten some of the best teams in the university to reach the finals. This was David vs Goliath in the making and we knew our story was written in the stars!

On the day of the final, I had to finish some experiments in the morning and I reached the ground a bit tired but with full of excitement. For a 24 year old me, this was a dream come true. I put my jersey on, did my warmups and went in for the start. And thats when it hit me. The floodlights went on, the commentator announced the team line ups to a huge roar from the crowd that had gathered to watch and I froze. Silence within me turned into chaos. It was perplexing. My blood started flowing faster than Nile falling into Tis Abay while my breadth started beating faster than the clock while I stood there, unable to move, unable to think. I felt anxious for the first time in my life. Let me rephrase it a bit- I felt and I realized being anxious for the first time in my life. I couldn't shrug this off. This was real. Its funny what pressure does to you- We had won all the matches leading upto the finals- but we were never expected to and no one took us seriously. We called ourselves 'Koi Bhi Team' for a reason. But the final was different. We lost. We were disappointed, not because we lost but because we played badly. We never gave ourselves a chance. I didn't give myself a chance.

Now, in my 30s, I remember that day with fondness, for without that I wouldn't have had an encounter with one of the most fundamental challenges of life- dealing with pressure. Football has taught me a lot of things, technical aspects of the game aside; to enjoy the success, cry when I loose and let it go, work with a team and so on.

That day, under the lights, I realized that life will be filled with challenges and the only thing you can do is choose to give yourselves a chance.

So, that Sunday morning when I looked up for the three passing options, I was happy that I had a choice and I decided to give myself a chance. I made eye contact with the payer at the far post, played the long ball and he missed the header by a whisker. I looked at him with a grin, both of us knowing well that we had indeed won the battle in that moment.